I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
