it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
