I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize