We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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