I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
