Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
