I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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