No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
