Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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