Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
