Someone shit on the floor
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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