I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize