clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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