I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
