Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
