You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
