ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
