and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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