But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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