We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
