i think my mom watched the whole time
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
