You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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