when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
