So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
