R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
