There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Found your dick twin last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize