She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
