the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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