I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize