then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My vagina is officially offended.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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