WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
