you traded sex for a burrito?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
