I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
