Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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