My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
