you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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