meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
