Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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