That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So here I am, sexting at work.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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