Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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