Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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