An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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