i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
