As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think your dad took our porno
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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