Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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