Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
