Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
