Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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