just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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