i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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