So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
