did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize