yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
