is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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