i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
