Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Holy sore nipples Batman
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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