omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
