he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We are two peas in an std pod
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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