If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you will always have a special place in my vag
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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