True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
being pregnant is like rehab
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
