Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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