i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How naked do you want me to be?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
