I wish you could order shots online.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
