haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
