You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
