I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
