she smelled like a LAN party
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
